The most important thing to know about relationships is that YOU MATTER!
When a relationship is essential to you, it’s likely that too often, you compromise, sacrifice, or act as if you don’t matter. You fear you will not be good enough if you do not give up parts of yourself to please another. Yet, this isn’t true. It never was and never will be. It’s a lie and a form of self-deceit.
The fundamental truth is that YOU DO MATTER.
Why is this so hard to accept and acknowledge?
Because…one of the most basic truths in healthy relationships is that we are willing to do whatever it takes to be accepted, touched, validated, and loved. That is, we are neurologically encouraged to abandon our sense of self and move toward becoming the person we believe we need to be rather than the person we indeed are. Thus, the lie feels deeply and automatically true, fueling our dedication to becoming who we believe the other person needs us to be.
In its place, you need to be bold, risk-taking, and dedicated to becoming the person you were always meant to be. This allows you to loosen your grip on the old scripts “installed” during childhood or uploaded from significant life events. This process lets you reconcile the tension between where you “belong” and how you “stand out.” This is what it means to have Relationship Intelligence.